Jeff Flake, you barely Republican son-of-a-bitch! You pulled a fast one on Mitch, and now we get an FBI investigation into Kavanaugh’s history of rape and assault after all! Think of the fun we’ll have now! Trump and Grassley will try to restrict the parameters of the inquiry so they can’t find anything new, the FBI gumshoes will be up to their chins in witnesses coming out of every crack and crevice, which your colleagues will be arguing are not reliable, not relevant, too numerous to interview in time, etc. etc., and in a week we may be right back at square one, but still, good for you Jeff! Attaboy! You’re still a horrible, horrible white Republican bastard, fit to burn for all eternity in the bowels of Hell just for the company you keep, the things you believe, and the evil goblins you keep enabling, but baby steps, right?
Oh, OK, lets be fair and give Flake some credit. He actually did something this time, instead of speechifying nobly and then voting the party line like usual – he had to be shamed into it at the last minute by a pair of female assault survivors who cornered him in an elevator this morning, but at least he’s capable of shame, and these days that’s not nothing.
I’d say this renews my faith in humanity, except it doesn’t. Not yet and not nearly. A much higher bar will need to be cleared to get me close to that point, and anyway they’ve made me the chump too often.
Tune in again next week!