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Jeff Flake, you barely Republican son-of-a-bitch! You pulled a fast one on Mitch, and now we get an FBI investigation into Kavanaugh’s history of rape and assault after all! Think of the fun we’ll have now! Trump and Grassley will try to restrict the parameters of the inquiry so they can’t find anything new, the FBI gumshoes will be up to their chins in witnesses coming out of every crack and crevice, which your colleagues will be arguing are not reliable, not relevant, too numerous to interview in time, etc. etc., and in a week we may be right back at square one, but still, good for you Jeff! Attaboy! You’re still a horrible, horrible white Republican bastard, fit to burn for all eternity in the bowels of Hell just for the company you keep, the things you believe, and the evil goblins you keep enabling, but baby steps, right?

Oh, OK, lets be fair and give Flake some credit. He actually did something this time, instead of speechifying nobly and then voting the party line like usual – he had to be shamed into it at the last minute by a pair of female assault survivors who cornered him in an elevator this morning, but at least he’s capable of shame, and these days that’s not nothing.

I’d say this renews my faith in humanity, except it doesn’t. Not yet and not nearly. A much higher bar will need to be cleared to get me close to that point, and anyway they’ve made me the chump too often.

Tune in again next week!

2 comments on “STOP THE PRESSES!!

  1. Mark Coffin says:

    Honestly Fleabag **

    Does Bart O’Kavenaugh honestly expect EVERYBODY to forget that they went to High School?!

    That if they don’t see themselves in the football players’ yearbook comments, they definitely know that letterman-wearing, self-important, ignorant, girl-hating d-bag type? That he was known as King Ralph because he had a weak stomach for spicy foods?


    **Fleabag was the Walter Matthau/Jack Klugman messy dog room-mate to the Jack Lemmon/ Tony Randall impeccably-dressed cat Spiffy in that justly underrated cartoon The Oddball Couple.


  2. Kunga Shiwa & the Search for Enlightenment says:

    Honestly Fleabag*****

    Does Bart O’Kavanaugh actually expect all of us to forget that we ever went to High School? That these ‘coded’ yearbook posts are too tough to figure out? That none of us ever went to school with the football playing, letterman sweater-wearing, abusive, self-important skin-dog type? That the nickname King Ralph was earned because he threw up if he ate spicy foods?

    Sure, and LDT in MY yearbook refers to Latter Day Theology, not the Lighthouse Drinking Team.


    I hear the Society of Jesus has called for an FBI investigation into that Georgetown Prep Alumnus. Looks good on that guy.

    ***** A favourite expression used by Spiffy, the Jack Lemmon/Tony Randall cat room-mate to Fleabag, the Walter Matthau/Jack Klugman dog character in the justly short-lived and under-rated cartoon, the Oddball Couple.


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