Those who’d imagined they’d plumbed the depths of Donald Trump’s staggering imbecility were given a rude wake-up call yesterday, when President Brainstem took to the White House lawn to tunnel even deeper as he read from his carefully scripted declaration of innocence, which, at 29 words (three of them duplicates) plus the abbreviation “U.S.”, was obviously far too dense for him to memorize. Like an eight-year-old reading his book report for the class, while imagining that through sheer repetition he was managing to sound as if he’d actually read the book, Donald looked altogether pleased with himself.
Have a gander:
I’d expect more verbal sophistication from a guy who just got kicked in the head by a mule.
Well! What a field day for the wags on Twitter! Some compared Trump’s speaking notes, scrawled as ever in big black block letters with his ubiquitous Sharpie, with a typical mark-up of Obama’s:
Others thought that Trump’s little screed read like angsty song lyrics, and set them to music. This is “I Want Nothing” as played by the Smiths:
Others figured it was more like the Ramones:
Laugh, children, laugh, lest you cry.