This is mad.
This is what it feels like to go insane.
Even as his supposedly pro bono client is about to get impeached for sponsoring exactly this behaviour, even as he is, himself, being investigated and might well be on the cusp of an indictment already for doing this very thing, crazed bag man Rudy Giuliani is back in Ukraine, meeting with the same cabal of thugs and skels with whom he’s been colluding all along, trying to beat some life back into the very, very dead horse that is the whole Biden/Burisma/Ukrainian election meddling whack-job conspiracy theory.
It was noted in many media outlets today, again, for the 900th time since he took office, that Donald, who pretty much had half the country ready to send Hillary to the gas chamber because of the supposed threat to national security inherent in her email habits, won’t stop yapping over unsecured cell phones. Everything he says that he doesn’t belch out over his Twitter feed he says screaming into a cell phone monitored 24/7 by Russian, Chinese, Iranian, and sundry other security services all over the world, sometimes loud enough that the morons on the other end, likewise monitored, have to pull their handsets away from their ears and allow bystanders to listen in. As a result, we’re told, Putin probably has more detailed information on what Trump was up to in Ukraine than the House Intelligence Committee, and would even if Trump wasn’t simply following his instructions.
Which committee, this week, released a detailed report showing, through the uncontroverted evidence of phone logs, that its own ranking GOP member, shifty little greasy-haired scoundrel Devin Nunes, is evidently the BFF of pumpkin-headed, Russian-connected fiend Lev Parnas, one of Giuliani’s partners in crime in the whole Ukraine mess. That’s right – the most senior Republican on a committee of the House investigating Trump’s impeachable offences in Ukraine was in one way or another part of Donald’s Ukraine operation.
While all this was going on, Trump held some sort of summit with small business leaders at the White House, at which, swear to God, he ranted about light bulbs and toilets. Look, here’s what he said:
He hates those new-fangled light bulbs! Hates them! That’s why he always looks orange, you know. And the way regulations ruin everybody’s lives these days, I mean, Jesus Christ, you wind up having to flush your goddam crapper 15 times, and no water comes out of taps anymore!! Why conserve water anyway – why is that a thing? It falls from the sky, doesn’t it? It’s called “rain”. Shit, man, so much water just falls out of the atmosphere because of this “rain” business – not a lot a people know about that, by the way – that they don’t even know what to do with it all. People are saying that it just ends up flowing into the sea when you can’t use it all up, yet here we all are flushing our crappers 15 times and getting no water out of taps, and oh yeah, Donald saved the steel industry. We weren’t going to have one of those any more, but now we are because Donald saved it.
Deflector shields down to 4% Cap’n!
So tell me – how in the name of George Washington and the Continental Congress, after all this, am I going to manage to hold fast to even a few of my last remaining marbles once the circus hits town and the impeachment trial in the Senate begins?
How? That’s not rhetorical.
Yet, you get right down to it, that’s the least of my worries. The real problem is figuring out how to keep a revolver out of my mouth after Trump is acquitted in the Senate, and then goes on to win re-election in 2020. I was sure, once, this wouldn’t happen. I believed. Now I know better. Oh, it’s more than possible. It’s on the way. I can hear it chugging ever closer, like a distant freight train hauling the mail in the dead of night, with me here tied to the rails in the middle of nowhere, waiting. Nothing to do but wait. You hear it too, don’t you?
Listen…off in the distance…whooooo-whoooooo…
Maybe I should just yank the plug on the flatscreen. Nothing I hear from that thing does a whole lot to cheer me up. Take the other night, when MSNBC host Joy Reid was a guest on Lawrence O’Donnell’s show, it was US Thanksgiving and everybody was working with a skeleton crew, making do, appearing on each other’s shows, and she discussed how she’d had many conversations, all off the record of course, with House and Senate members of the GOP who were all by this point equal parts frightened and nauseated by what Trump has done to the country and their party. Not enough to actually do anything, of course, but still, nauseated and terrified. She asked one of them what he thought we could expect if Donald gets re-elected in 2020, and without hesitation he croaked “four years of theft and vengeance”.
Join me, why don’t you, in thinking about that for a bit. An emboldened Donald, feeling more free than he ever has to do as he pleases, to finally get on with strip-mining the nation’s wealth just like his mentor/handler/blackmailer Vlad has done, beloved Vlad, with all the same sort of power and time he needs to go after everybody that ever did him wrong, all those bastards in Justice and State and Congress – well, they’ll get theirs, won’t they? That vicious, unprincipled, ever-loyal troll Barr will help, bless his black heart. You bet he will. Barr will gut them.
Four years of theft and vengeance – and of course the continued, furious pursuit by America of Russia’s foreign policy agenda, while the likes of Mick Mulvaney advise us, as they always do, to just get over it. It’s business. Go fuck yourself.
God help me, I long for President Pence.