…and months, or even years later, it comes out there. To someone else’s credit. It’s brutally unjust.
Let me tell you, and sorry for the sour grapes, and for patting myself ceaselessly on the back (yet shouldn’t somebody?), but nothing is more depressing than watching others become national and international heroes for saying just about the exact frigging things you yourself said long before, as publicly as you could, to no particular fanfare. I give it my all here, folks, I really do, I sling my very best stuff, yet what comes of it? Nothing much, that’s what – and then, somebody else will come along and get the kudos instead. One instance that really rotted my socks was when, in 2019, Obama created a sensation by noting that the world would almost certainly be improved in myriad ways if only women ran it instead of men, the express subject of an entire Needlefish column titled Time to Give the Matriarchy a Chance, Don’t You Think?, posted about 15 months earlier. Well Duh, Mr. Ex-President, welcome aboard, and if I thought anybody ever noticed a frigging word I type I’d be inclined to accuse him of plagiarism. Now it’s happening again. Former presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg – a hell of a nice guy with lots of smarts, don’t get me wrong – is getting praised up and down all over the internet for an interview he gave on Fox, responding to Mike Wallace on the hot-button topic of late term abortion, that perennial B.S. Republican wedge issue:
Bravo, Pete, and I’m not saying the guy doesn’t deserve all of the plaudits coming his way for seeing the issue with complete factual and moral clarity and all, it’s just that nobody noticed when I made exactly the same points right here in this space well over a year ago:
I also said this:
I did! It’s true! You can look it up!
WWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Where’s my cookie? Where’s my congratulatory telegram from Elizabeth Warren? Where’s my Nobel nomination? Why am I not a liberal cultural icon, widely admired by all right-thinking, enlightened folks everywhere? Why am I nobody’s hero? Why why why?
What’s a guy gotta do, run for office? Not a good idea, think about it, that wouldn’t turn out so good for me. My own wife once opined that if I ever put myself up for even the lowest elected position in local government, I’d live about as long after launching my campaign as it took for somebody to go home, get a rifle, and then return to the site of my first speaking engagement. I’m sure you’d agree, if you were here reading this column at all, which let’s face it, you’re not.
Look, I’m not asking for much. I just want to be a famous and internationally renowned intellectual fount of all wisdom whose sage counsel is sought by leaders the world over prior to making any big decisions, that’s all. You know. Respected, admired, and beloved. I think I’ve demonstrated beyond any plausible doubt that my input, once accepted, would make the entire world a much better place. And I’ve got views on everything! I’m versatile! There’s almost literally nothing about which I won’t offer my considered opinion! Solicited or not! Think of the impact I could have! Yet here I am, talking to no one, labouring in obscurity, yelling down a well. It’s not fair.
I was so sure that launching a blog on WordPress would make me famous.
Nothing for it but to keep plugging away, I guess. Who knows? My time in the Sun might be just around the corner.