Well, slowly, it all starts to come out. Every dirty, ugly, corrupt little thing the smirking pricks did, and you know we haven’t heard the half of it. You know it’s just the tip of the iceberg. It’s like when you see a mouse run across your living room floor. If you manage to see one, you know there’s many, many more; there’s no way in God’s green Earth that this one scurrying little bastard is the only rodent making itself all at home inside your undoubtedly infested walls. Just like there’s no way that Bill Barr’s slimy espionage action against Donald’s political enemies is the only sordid thing he got his minions at Justice to do on behalf of his scowling orange overlord.
Just like always, Donald did it out in the open, while standing in front of the Press. Again and again, Trump called for somebody to go after Congressional Democrats, particularly the ones on the House Intelligence Committee, and especially Adam Schiff, then the ranking member, whom Trump rightly perceived as the greatest threat. Funny thing about Donald, the idiot-savant: he’s so stupid he puts on his shoes and socks in that order, but he has a sort of feral sixth sense for who’s dangerous, who’s too smart to be gulled, too honest to be bought, and too determined to just get tired and give up. Schiff, who’d later be one of the managers of Trump’s first impeachment, was that sort of guy, so he set the dogs on him, and Barr, reading the tweets and watching the press conferences, was only too happy to oblige. Somehow, he got courts and grand juries to go along with his efforts, while launching the sort of domestic rat-fucking campaign that even Nixon was too timid to contemplate, back in the day, which included not just snooping into the phone records of members of Congress, but also some of their minor children.
He was hoping to pin leaks of classified information on Schiff, or Swalwell, or somebody, anybody, who happened to have a “D” after his name, but of course there weren’t any leaks, not from the Democrats, anyway – it was Donald’s own staff who were routinely letting the cats out of their bags. The White House leaked like a goddam sieve, 24/7, like no White House ever had before. There were phone banks at WaPo and the Times that did nothing but manage the incoming calls. That’s why the DOJ was also going after reporters, and even Don McGahn, Trump’s own White House counsel. I won’t be at all surprised to find out some day that even Jared and Ivanka were spilling their guts to the reporters, and Melania too, but only in Donald’s fever dreams was it anybody like Adam Schiff breaking the rules. Donald likely knew that, and Barr too, but what the hell, they didn’t care, the point wasn’t to find out the truth – it never was – it was just to find something that might plausibly be distorted into a narrative that looked bad. Everybody’s got a skeleton or two hidden away, right? Or at least something you can claim looks like a skeleton. That’s just a law of nature. In the Trumpiverse, everyone’s dirty. Nobody’s on the level. Yet, not this time. Schiff was a choirboy. There was bupkis.
In fact, there was so very little dirt to dig up that Jeff Sessions, the first AG to be given the task, simply gave up. That’s one of the reasons Donald hated the little guy. He came on like an embittered Keebler Elf gone over to the dark side, but he always fell short in the clutch. But not our Billy. No, when Barr took the helm, he started right in again, with gusto, and was hard at it even as he shucked and jived his way through testimony before the Senate, mumbling to Kamala Harris that golly, he couldn’t really remember any instance in which Donald ordered him to conduct any investigations into anybody (“I’m trying to grapple with the word ‘suggest’”, said Bill, believing himself clever) which, given the way Trump operates, was probably technically true – Donald, Mob boss that he was, didn’t ask you things directly. He just proposed things over his Twitter feed to nobody in particular, then waited for his minions to get the hint. “Russia, if you’re listening” and all that. Well, we now know that Russia was listening, and so was that crooked tool Barr.
It wasn’t even illegal, by the looks of it. Offside internal guidelines and Regs, sure, but not against the law. Barr was careful. It was, however, a sleazy campaign worthy of Putin, and a frighteningly dangerous assault on the constitutional separation of powers, and it ought to be enough to burn both Billy and Donald at the stake, but what do you bet nothing happens? I saw an item a day ago that there was talk of Barr losing his law licence on account of all this, and I had to laugh. Lose his law licence? Jesus Christ, he ought to be thrown into a windowless cell in the basement of some for-profit Alabama supermax run by one of Donnie’s buddies in the prison industrial complex, if not strapped to a fucking gurney, and they’re talking about revoking his licence to practise law. Which won’t even happen. Nothing ever happens to these pricks. There’re never any consequences. Trump incites insurrection as the capstone to four years of graft, corruption, illegal skullduggery, and consorting with the nation’s enemies, and what becomes of him? He gets to go play golf at Mar-a-Lago. His biggest problem is getting booted off social media. You don’t think he’s actually going to get indicted for his blatant attempts to rig the vote in Georgia, do you? Do you suppose it matters at all that he was caught on tape asking Raffensperger to pull 11,780 Trump votes out of his backside? Get real. Not gonna happen. You think something’s going to catch up with him in New York? Like, maybe decades of financial crimes are finally going to land him in the slam? Sure. Sure they will. I’ll be the first one setting off the party poppers if that ever comes to pass, but I’m not betting the mortgage.
The pigeons never come home to roost with these slimewads. They skate. Roger Stone is out there yukking it up, pardon in pocket. Same thing with the oily Paul Manafort and that lunatic Mike Flynn. Giuliani is doing ads for the pillow guy, and the pillow guy is making “Stop the Steal” documentaries. There wasn’t a greaseball in Trump’s cabinet who didn’t do something indictable, except maybe Mattis, and possibly Tillerson. The rest of them were in it up to their necks, you know they were, and we’ll never even hear about most of it.
Karma? There’s no such frigging thing. It’s like closure. Never happens. Have a look at this cartoon villain’s beaming mug, while he’s out there running around loose, and try to tell me with a straight face that Karma’s a bitch. You can’t, ’cause it isn’t.
It just isn’t.