603, actually, counting this one. Close to 700,000 words, according to the stats the system tabulates behind the scenes, at an average of about 1,140 words apiece, though for the past two years the typical length has been closer to a thousand – still, sadly, far too long for the attention span of today’s reader, which I’m given to understand is about equivalent to that of your proverbial blue-arsed fly, an ugly reality I acknowledge without the merest trace of bitterness.
Though my initial goals were to change the world and become both famous and beloved (and maybe rich), while perhaps generating enough buzz to grab the attention of the folks at WaPo or the Times, I’ve had to scale back my ambitions a bit. I now seek mainly to keep myself amused, which isn’t working very well either. Yet I persist!
All right, I admit it, my secret hope was always to bring down Mitch McConnell. I can’t quit until this sacred quest is successful, or I die trying.
You hear that Mitch? I’m the Needlefish, and I’m coming for you! Look upon my mighty rhetorical teeth, ye scoundrel, and weep!