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None other than simpleton superstar and possible alternate namesake for the award itself, Donald J. Trump!!!

It’s kind of weird awarding any sort of Gomey to Trump, since one could just as well bestow a hypothetical Standing Trumpey upon Gohmert, but anyway, get a load of this:

This one ties everything up in a neat little bow: the imbecility, the mendacity, the catering to the tiki-torch MAGA cultists of Charlottesville, the utter absence of knowledge, the naked rabble-rousing of his constant appeals to grievance, even the constant, over-the-top use of hyperbolic terms. Now that he’s not President, I’ve been less keen to keep amplifying the shit that Donald puts out there, hoping vainly that perhaps at some point he’ll just go away, yet I had to do something special for this one, right?

Donald really swings for the fences here, with this paean to the pro-slavery side of the Civil War. The myth of Robert E. Lee’s infinite military prowess and essential benevolence, integral to the “Lost Cause” narrative that underpins all American White Supremacy, is here regurgitated wholesale by the corpulent insurrectionist swine whose followers accomplished what Lee never could, and brandished the Confederate flag within the halls of the Capitol. Donald, of course, wouldn’t know and couldn’t care less that virtually none of the supposed facts set out in Lee’s warped hagiography are accurate, save, perhaps, his brilliance as a tactician. His purported opposition to slavery, his kindness towards his own slaves, his “ardent” efforts after the war to heal the nation; all distortions and lies, pure and simple, and as regards his military prowess, well, he may have been superb at the tactics of winning battles (though given the overconfidence that led to the botched calamity at Gettysburg, maybe not so much), but championing a war that pit the agrarian South against the far more populous industrialized North was pure strategic malpractice. In his military career, the closest parallel is to Isoroku Yamamoto, the Admiral who planned Pearl Harbour, save that the Japanese officer understood clearly from the outset that the war would be a disaster, predicting that he would run rampant for perhaps a year, after which Imperial Japan would be crushed. We don’t erect monuments to Yamamoto, or any other high ranking enemy officers whose feats on the battlefield might inspire grudging admiration, though come to think of it, I wouldn’t put it past these Neo-Nazi MAGA yahoos to put up a statue of Erwin Rommel in the Richmond town square.

If you want to read a true account of Lee, his beliefs, and his behaviour throughout his life, both as a General and as a slave owner, this will do nicely:

It’s not just the pernicious ahistoicism of this, the latest in a series of substitute tweets that Donald has been forced to release since getting booted from the platform, that rankles so much. It’s the way it supplies yet another, wholly superfluous reminder that Trump has the empty mind of a not-so-clever child. If only Lee had taken command of the forces of the Union, he says, “the war would have been over in one day” (following which, one assumes, he could have conquered the whole solar system in a week). “Except for Gettysburg, he would have won the war” Donald continues, in effect stating that but for being the architect of disaster and therefore losing, he would have been triumphant (not even true; almost certainly, the North would eventually have ground its way to victory through sheer attrition, whatever Lee’s exploits). “If only we had Robert E. Lee to command our troops in Afghanistan, that disaster would have ended in complete and total victory many years ago” he concludes, perhaps on the basis that Lee, having brought himself up to speed on such things as helicopter-borne assault techniques, and the application of strategic airpower to the tactical close air support of infantry, could have won fast enough to avoid being thwarted by the MAGA numbskull who took over as Commander-in-Chief in 2017.

The last thing the fractured Republic needed right now was this little race-baiting tantrum, but then everything that flows out of Donald’s foul, stupid little mouth is the last thing the Republic needs, and that’s why he rates the Standing Gomey, to be considered as continually awarded every time a new thought makes its lonely debut within Donald’s impoverished consciousness:

One comment on “And, the Standing Gohmert Goes To…

  1. Very deserving winner.


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