Allow me, gentle readers, to introduce you to the Barrett M82 semi-automatic sniper rifle, one of the most devastating long guns ever created:
In US Army service it’s designated M107. Nice, huh? It weighs about 14 kilos, and fires a very large .50 calibre round of the type originally developed as a heavy machine gun bullet for the legendary Browning M2, versions of which are still seen atop M1 tanks, and which were hard-hitting enough to serve as the airplane-shredding armament of fighters like the P-51 Mustang, P-47 Thunderbolt, and F-86 Sabre. The bullets leave the barrel at a muzzle velocity of 850 odd metres per second, out to an effective range of about 1.8-2 kilometres, though when aimed to fire on a ballistic arc the gun can sling a round as far as seven or so kilometres down range, so careful where you point that thing! The military classifies it as an “anti-material” weapon, meaning it’s generally too big to be used against people, and is better suited to shooting the crap out of valuable equipment and machinery – according to the brochures, it’s designed to effectively engage and defeat targets such as parked aircraft, hovering helicopters, communications systems, radar sites, ammunition depots, oil and other fuel stores, lightly-armoured vehicles, that sort of thing. It’ll put a hot slug straight through the engine block of a Ford F150, in case you ever need to stop one of those puppies in its tracks, so, obviously, it’s great for home defence, and if you’re a good red-blooded American you can indeed defend your own home with it! Yup, civilians are allowed to buy these things, maybe not in all 50 States, I don’t know, but seems like you can in Georgia, and I bet lots of other Red States too. They aren’t cheap, mind you; I did a little on-line shopping, and it turns out that once you finish paying for the scope and the bipod and the ammo, you’ll be out about US$10,000.00, but that’s a small price to pay for peace of mind, right? Heck, these days you’d fork over more than that for a used pickup. Get your priorities straight.
OR, maybe you’ll get lucky and win one! Now’s your chance, because Marjorie Taylor Greene is holding a raffle! I’m not making this up. She really is, look:
What a gal! What moxy! With that big old gun, she’s real sexy too, don’t you think? Plus I love how she’s got the word SOCIALISM written on the side of that pansy-assed liberal politically correctmobile, which really gets the point across. The hell with nuance! This is war! I know, I know, it’s a little dumb to be horsing around with a weapon of that size without eye and ear protection (geez, be careful Margie!), and sure, you could quibble that the way that little Prius blows all to hell is obviously the product of a couple of pounds of high explosive, and not the impact of a rifle round, and you might note that blowing the shit out of a hybrid vehicle like that, with its huge battery and stores of various toxic fluids, isn’t such a great move, environmentally speaking – I’m betting that nobody did much of a clean-up after the shoot, which seems a shame in such a pastoral setting – and yes, O.K., some would whine that these political ads threatening violence against the Libs are starting to cross the line that separates good, down-home country fun and games from the promotion of insurrection and domestic terrorism, fine, fair enough, but damn, these folks sure know how to make a commercial, don’t they? I mean, the hallmark of a good advertisement is that you remember it, and what it was selling, right? That’s why the Liberty Insurance jingle goes LIBERTY, LIBERTY, LIBERTY – LIBERTY. Thats why they’re hawking home and auto bundles with a goddam Emu. And you can’t tell me you won’t remember this one! Quick – what’s Marjorie against?
SOCIALISM
And what’s she going to do about it?
SHOOT THE BASTARDS
There you go.
Boy, I just can’t wait ’til the Republicans take back Congress! The mid-terms are just 415 days away, and with Joe Manchin’s help, and the grace of God, there’s no way the GOP won’t be back in the saddle after that. Watch your ass, AOC! Trump 2024! USA! USA!
the needlefish 