…Senator John Kennedy (R) (La.)!!
No, not that John Kennedy. This southern-fried can of crushed assholes is John N. Kennedy, looking even older and saggier than his 70 years, who comes on all country-redneck-good-old-boy-pass-the-cornpone, but is in fact a onetime class valedictorian, and graduate of Vanderbilt (magna), University of Virginia Law School, and Oxford, though you’d never know it from his crawdad-gulpin’ mealy-mouthed plantation owner routine. As a dedicated apostle of Trump, he’s prone to showing up at MAGA rallies to hoot and holler, and just loves being, you know, colourful, spewing his own peculiar repertoire of catch phrases, aphorisms, and Plaquemines Parish talking points. He sort of sounds like Foghorn Leghorn, saying stuff like I hear a lot a’ choppin’ but I don’t see any chips flyin’ ; we don’t need more gun control, we need better idiot control ; dealin’ with him is like hand-feedin’ a shark ; and President Trump likes to do things his way – he’s a hard dog to keep on the porch. Here’s a highlight reel:
No wonder he’s Marvette27’s favourite!
Now, see if you can tell the difference:
Louisiana Leghorn here is a bit of an anti-abortion crusader (saying anybody who knows a law book from a J. Crew catalog knows that Roe v. Wade is one of the most poorly reasoned decisions in the history of the United States Supreme Court. It is totally illogical. The analysis makes no sense), and one of six Senators to oppose certification of Biden’s electoral win in Arizona, joining such luminaries as Ted Cruz and the deeply, deeply mentally ill Paul Gosar. He’s also – of course – a sly sort of climate change denier (oh, it’s changing, sure enough, but there’s lots of causes, it’s complicated, you can’t just blame fossil fuels), and now that Biden is re-upping on the Paris Climate Accord and trying to get bills through Congress that might do something to avert what now seems an all but inevitable planetary catastrophe, the Junior Senator from Louisiana has been in high dudgeon. As if trying to give Marjorie Taylor Greene a run for her money, he’s taken to labelling anything green, and for that matter all other public policy directed toward the common good, as Trotsky-like communism. Oh, and also morally and intellectually equivalent to Critical Race Theory (whatever that is), you gotta work that in somewhere, obviously. So here he is, winning this week’s Gomey:
By the by, Bayou Boy, critical race theory ain’t new, ‘lessin fifty years old is new. Like they say where he comes from, nice enough Senator, but about as sharp as a pound a wet liver:
the needlefish 