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Just look at this stumble-fucking pantload as he takes a mulligan on his abysmal, panic-inducing Oval Office oratory of the previous night. Even at a time of day when he shouldn’t yet be sundowning, he can’t quite read his copy or form a grammatical sentence:

I am declaring a nashunul emergenshy…two very big words…the action I am taking will open up access to up to 50 billion dollars of…very importantly…very important…and, a large amount…

Gosh, those are two very big words, what a clever boots you are to make note of it!! Along the way, he declared that Google was setting up some sort of national diagnostic pandemic website that everybody would soon be able to visit for all their pandemic needs – which was news to the very surprised folks at Google, as was the assertion that they had “1,700 developers” working on it – and responded to a reporter’s question about his role thus far in bungling the testing effort by insisting “no, I don’t take responsibility at all”. Later, when asked by PBS reporter Yamiche Alcindor about the dismantling of Obama’s national security apparatus for responding to pandemics, he reacted this way:

Notice how he reserves the word “nasty” for women and their vexing questions? Always with the questions, these shrill harpies! Then, in the most staggering abdication of solemn duty ever articulated by a President of the United States, he comes out with:

When you say me, I didn’t do it, we have a group of people, I could ask perhaps in my administration, but I could perhaps ask Tony about that [gesturing towards the long-suffering Dr. Fauci, like he had anything to do with it] because I don’t know anything about it, you say that we did that, I don’t know anything about it.

Look, don’t come at my ass about this, I’m just the Captain, I wasn’t even on the bridge when it happened, I was in my cabin stackin’ Zs when the guy on watch ran the ship aground, OK? The buck stops over there somewhere.

Pundits are talking like this sort of supremely unfit assholery is going to end the Trump presidency, as if owing to the appalling hash he’s made of the whole government response to the pandemic, it’s all over but the crying for Donald and his GOP bum-boys. Yeah, well, I’ll believe it when I see it, and meanwhile I won’t be betting the mortgage that the idiots in Kentucky will be tossing Mitch McConnell out on his ass this November, either. Sure, Jack, those Red State die-hards are all outraged that Mitch decided to take a long weekend, rather than deal immediately with the emergency House pandemic relief bill that Nancy Pelosi hammered out in all possible haste, burning the midnight oil in marathon negotiations with Designated Moron Steve Mnuchin. Sure they are.

Look: the sort of people who voted Trump into office are not even capable of understanding what’s going on, and wouldn’t care anyway. They’ll never get it. If Donald tells them it’s all a Democratic hoax, and then turns around and declares a national emergency, well, that’s because it all started as a Democratic hoax, but the libs and the Fake News hoaxed it so well that Dear Leader finally had to do something to calm everybody down, that’s all. And how’s he supposed to know that the Deep State is chewing away at the apparatus of government behind his back? They just want to make Donald look bad, and will stop at nothing. Like Jerry Falwell Jr. said the other day on Fox and Friends, not only is there nothing to worry about, but it’s likely a North Korean bio-weapon or something, which also probably implicates the Democrats and their stinking Liberal supporters, including, whaddyabet, George Soros.

The only thing that upsets these brainstems is that all the fake news promulgated by all those buzzkill Dems is forcing Trump to cancel his next set of Nuremberg rallies:


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